|scienceclub||Date: Saturday, 08-Nov-2014, 10:13 AM | Message # 1|
|Q: What do physicists enjoy doing the most at sporting events? |
A: The Wave
Q: Why can't you trust an atom?
A: They make up everything
Q: What is the name of the first electricity detective?
A: Sherlock Ohms
Q: Why are quantum physicists bad lovers?
A: Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.
Q: What did the physicist snack on during lunch?
A: A 'gram' cracker.
Q: Why does hamburger have lower energy than steak?
A: Because it's in the ground state.
Q: How many theoretical physicists specializing in general relativity does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two. One to hold the bulb and one to rotate the universe.
Q: What do you get when you mix sulfur, tungsten, and silver?
Q: Where does bad light end up?
A: In a prism.
Q: What is the simplest way to observe the optical Doppler effect?
A: Go out at and look at cars. The lights of the ones approaching you are white, while the lights of the ones moving away from you are red.
Q: What animal is made up of calcium, nickel and neon?
A: A CaNiNe
Q: What would you call a clown in jail?
A: Silicon (Silly Con)
Q: What does a mathematician do about constipation?
A: He works it out with a pencil.
Q: Why is a physics book always unhappy?
A: Because it always has lots of problems.
Q: What is a proof?
A: One-half percent of alcohol.
Q: According to a physicist, why is the world so diverse?
A: Because it's made up of alkynes of people.
Q: What did Donald Duck say in his graduate physics class?
A: Quark, quark, quark!
Q: What did one uranium-238 nucleus say to the other?
A: "Gotta split!"
Q: What did one quantum physicist say when he wanted to fight another quantum physicist?
A: Let me atom.
Q: What do physicists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A: A ferrous wheel.
Q: Why did Carbon marry Hydrogen?
A: They bonded well from the minute they met.
Q: If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
A: H2O cubed.
Q: What did Al Gore play on his guitar?
A: An Algorithm
Q: Why was the Calculus teacher bad at baseball?
A: He was better at fitting curves than hitting them.
Q: What's the integral of (1/cabin)d(cabin)?
A: A natural log cabin!